Really, it’s a good thing. Really…

It’s been 5 months and 15 days since the accident.  The doctor in the emergency room, my primary care physician, and subsequent specialists all say the same – my shoulder was broken in one of the worst ways possible.  Right now, I’m not even close to being healed and whole physically.  Over the months, I have received a large amount of condolences from friends that are well-meaning.  The truth is, this accident resulted in some amazing things in my life!  Major changes that are all positive, with the only penance required is a bit of pain and a little money lost.  However my family has never been closer, I’ve been able to slow down my life a bit, and a complete refocus of my education into what I’ve always really wanted to do.  So I may not be able to lift any weight or walk at a brisk pace, but I’m in a good spot and thankful for the accident that started the chain of events that brought me to where I am now.

Credit Where Credit is Due…

I’m thankful for an internal change of perspective. Last year was a very difficult year for me on many levels. This year (so far) has been an amazing year! So what’s the change of perspective? Now that things are going well, I know now more than ever that I need God. That’s right: good times=acknowledgement of need.
If you’re good with that, than great! You’re ahead of where I was. If that’s a bit confusing, lemme ‘splain…
The idea here is I believe in a god that loves me and wants me to thrive. Sure, struggles come and things aren’t always easy, but EVERY STINKING TIME I’ve had the choice to learn from those struggles and grow – or not. But primarily I have, which has enabled me to 1) have a positive change in myself and 2) see first hand that not everything that seems bad IS.
Again – last year was rough. There were multiple opportunities for me to grow, to understand what my capabilities and limitations were in order to see where I could improve myself. Unfortunately, I missed that and barreled on with my head down, treading mud (so to speak). God didn’t drop the ball with me – I chose to try and stand on my own.
Now, a couple of months have passed, and my whole world has flipped – in a great way! Personally, I haven’t done anything different to bring these changes around, but I have seen the hand of God in my life as he’s showing me what things can be like.
It’s an awakening for me. I wouldn’t even dream of saying “things are good now so I don’t need help.” On the contrary – things are good now, and I can easily say there’s only reason why – because God is by my side. He’s never left me, but sometimes it helps to stop trying to run away as well.


This year has probably been the most eventful year of my life. Not all positive, either. I happen to be having lunch with a photographer friend of mine who understands the depth and effects of the events, telling her about all that’s been going on. She said “I want to shoot you.” Normally, this would give me cause for alarm, but after talking further we came up with the idea for this shoot Broken, capturing the essence of my soul.  Click here to see the rest of her work: G Castillo Photography
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I Just Want to Clarify…

I feel the need to clarify;

I don’t know how you see me, but I am a child of God, and Jesus Christ is my savior.  I’m not by any means perfect.  I enjoy living life and I make mistakes.  I appear to stand on my own two large feet, but the reality is without God by my side, I can’t keep my balance.  To look at me, one could say “Is that what a Christian is like?”  I fall so often my face hurts– I will never be the poster boy for a church.  But the thing is, I realize my need for salvation.  I could never get through life on my own, falling falling falling and at some point not getting up.  THAT’S what I am; one who believes that my strength comes from God, and my salvation comes from Jesus.  Everything I have comes from God, and only by his grace do I have my family, my gifts, my job, my house, my life.  To believe that any of this was from my own doing is a fallacy yet I don’t often give credit where credit is due.  You may see me on stage or in person behaving in a way that doesn’t represent the faith I profess, and I apologize if that’s hard for you.  I want to tell you that me being a Christian doesn’t mean I do everything right and I have no delusions of perfection – it means I’ve realized that I need help and can’t make it on my own.  Now that I think of it, I AM a pretty darn good example of a Christian.  I realize I’m lost on my own.